How to get a handle on harmful prior statements in divorce

When going through the divorce process, nearly everything from your past can be used against you. And you should count on your spouse to do so to try to gain an edge in your marriage dissolution proceedings. This might leave you on edge, too, especially if you’ve made some statements in the past that you now regret. Although those statements might become relevant in your case, you shouldn’t shirk confronting them head-on. After all, oftentimes the best way to mitigate the damage these statements can cause is to openly address them.

But we understand that figuring out the best way to approach these issues can be difficult. That’s why we want to take some time in this post to look at how you can get a handle on your own statements once they’ve been turned against you. Hopefully then you’ll have a better idea of how to protect your interests throughout your divorce.

What to do if you’ve made past statements that could come back to haunt you

If your spouse raises a past statement that paints you in a bad light, it can feel like there’s no coming back from it. But that isn’t necessarily the case. In fact, there may be several steps you can take to mitigate the damage and still protect your divorce legal interests. These include:

• Contextualizing the statement: A lot of statements seem worse than they actually are because they’re taken out of context. For example, a standalone statement about how difficult it is to parent your children might create a perception that you’re unable to care for your kids and should therefore be denied custody. If, however, you contextualize that statement by showing that the other parent was never home to assist and your statement was more about their lack of engagement rather than your parenting abilities, then a completely different picture is painted. So, carefully think through how you can contextualize the statements that are being used against you.
• Showing change: Your spouse might use your past statements to show any number of unsavory character traits. Sometimes the best strategy is to own up to them but then show the judge how you’ve changed. If done properly, this can sweep the legs out from under your spouse’s arguments.
• Going on the offensive: You can’t let your spouse and the court dwell on statements that only you made. Instead, you should try to shift the focus back onto your spouse. You may be able to highlight hurtful things that they’ve said or conversations that are indicative of parental shortcomings, financial mismanagement or an intent to cheat the divorce system. This can level the playing field as you and your spouse argue over key legal issues.
• Discrediting your spouse: Sometimes spouses simply lie about things that have been said in the past. This can leave you incredulous, but you can’t give into your temptation to lash out at them. Instead, you can work with your attorney and the rules of evidence to find ways to attack your spouse’s reliability so that the court gives their testimony less weight.

If you’re not careful, your spouse can pull the rug out from under you, leaving you unbalanced and on the defensive throughout your divorce case. That’s why now is the time to anticipate any arguments or issues your spouse might raise and to figure out the best way to counter them.